But I cant stop thinkin’ bout’ doin’ it one more time…

“Bad obsession” G’n’R

I like the girls and the money and the shame of life.
-Butthole Surfers.

I am gonna be off the air once Ross books so dig it while you can….

Happy Hannucka.

Go light ya fuckin candles…I will do it in My imagination I guess.I get to deck out a tree tonite.Miss Suzanne makes it hard for me to wallow.As does Miss Annie who turned up at 13th on Sunday [Me awake 48 hours and feeling it] to capture shots of this band.I was thanking her as she was putting up with our shit and she replyed though gritted teeth “Just finish the fucking album,I want my album” Whats not to love?

Black and white and moody as all buggery.Me in my beloved Hard- ons hoody.I couldnt feel my hands for about 40 min after the fact which was kinda scary to tell ya the truth.

Death to promoters who lie.Thank you.

Gets to the point when a wandering rock queen has to train herslef to pee standing up.I gotta lot of graves to piss on when the time comes…….

Gotta get My kyuss cd back off Jules.he traded Me the desert sessions 10 but I NEED the low end again.

In how many ways do you think that I am totally uninpressed with the weather? I will answer that for you.All of them.I can go to the grave knowing the feeling of my snot freezing in my nose.Phlem cubes…Rank.It was all kinda mild till sunday and then BOOM! -18 and fucking snow up the yang.Miss Suzanne lent me a coat which is akin to wearing a bed.A big tan bed.I cant belive that people are hip to this?.Delux and I were half watching a special on Usher and how he spend his money.Ross was all indignant and I gotta admit it was all a bit much.So of course the conversation turned to “What would you do with that kinda money?’ I darkly commented from the recliner that I would never see another winter in my life.And shit loads of plastic surgery.I have always wanted to have my belly button filled in.Somthing different.

Delux is well fed up with, as he puts it “People fucking with ma “Wah” babe”. I thought that ment that some one had been tampering with the bowels of his roadcase.Nope.Its something to do with yoga and such.He has been putting Me though the wringer in that respect.The man is a machine.I too am sick of “Wah” fuckage.

I am talking myself back from the ledge you know? This is what I wanted,I still belive that, its just a shame that I had to bring myself along.Trying so hard to get out from underneath my own wheels.I am tired as hell and I shut my eyes and I just burn.I think so much.I need to toughen up or quit.The 1st option thanks.Its all there I am just to wasted to get to it.People are the true erosion of a lifetime.Staking a claim in fearlessness and honesy.There is that giddy drunk moment when you are relived within the fact that no one can fuck you over as badly as you do to yourself.What can they do?

300 TV station and do we get any porn? I rest my case….I cant remember what that case was but….

Mikey leaves tonite.I could fell his stress waves seeping though the floor last nite.I have gone from all sleep to none.Which is why I am here nailing you guys.For all the shit he went through [ And put himself through ] he really nailed some amazing drumtakes.I thought the top of his head was going to blow off.I am a cronic self abuser but No# 1 son takes the cake.Bless.And then feeds it to hid tapeworm.I have never seen anyone that thin eat so much.30 hours and he gonna be feeling no pain and back in lovin arms,I,for one, am glad.So now onto Ross who is also leaving me in 8 days.I passed comment last night that maybe after missing Me some he wouldnt be such a cunt all the time….Oh! How we laughed!.

Being that The guys are letting me back into the studio , I abused it and called The Annandale and spoke to Leif for ages.Its hard cause there is no where to go in this burg’ and if there is it involves money of which I cant do…The same old.Ross took pity on me and gave me the dregs of his last calling card.

I have this pathetic little circuit that I slide to and fro in.

1] My bedroom.
2] The studio.
3] The supermarket.
4] this net place
5] Miss Suzannes and Miss Annies.
6] The Gym
and the coffee shop.

I know,calm down…its too exciting.Not Led Zepplin is it?

I am mauldlin by birth so when am hemmed in like this its a real challange.I have never watched so much TV in my life and I am reading all my mates out of house and home.The cold makes your skin fall off too.All this mixed with the central heating is like bad mexican brown,Low rent shit…And as I am bargain basement?…moo.

I wonder if anyone really does call Gene Simmons “Dr Love?’

NYE?

Wish that I was gonna be at the Metro to see Bloodduster but as it stands I think that I will be in the studio.Cool.I am not taking the piss.as one beautiful sikfuk wrote me “You are living it and no one can take that away from you or from us.” Cheers.Ross and I are gonna hit Juliets on Friday for the last time.I have met some well cool people but I am happy to say although the boys are gonna be reconvining here in Feb I am never comming back.We worked up a stunning version of “We are the Champions” by Queen in the kitchen last nite while I decided that Fluro orange streaks in my hair was I good Idea.I jump when I see myself even more-so than usual now…anyway He sings it in 1st person and I sing it to him.

I AM THE CHAMPION!…..Ross.

You are the champion…Me.

See! It works like a treat and I think that “Sex in the city” is giving me nightmares.Somthing fucking is.It was really weird hearing what is happening in Sydney.Cant say that I miss it.I miss the sikfuks we left behind.My real family…I got the evil version of all the dirt that is not fit to print as you can imagine….Usual laments on top of it all as well.Glad that the flimsy shards of what could pass a a love life in some lost and befuddeling universe was good for somthing.Evil jokes at the expense of my bogus sexuality,thats what! Laughing like drains in retrospect.My evil friend tell me to stick to chicks….”no NO!” Replies “Ms wants to join the convent”.I am only gonna stick to my hand.There is nothing radical about being a born again virgin kids.Unless you want to picture the Virgin Mary on a half pipe.Which I do…where was I?….

Not gettin’ any thats where.Ive always been pretty crapulent at the mating game anyway.I will chalk it up…ya always pay.I miss my fucking vibrator.Small town…mumble mumble.One of the evergreen band conversations usually started by Me [ Ok, always started by me.]

“Which is better…A good shit or a fuck?”

A good shit.

Now listening to Kiss.Dropped by the tattoo shop again yesterday…I am stingin’ for it.”Detroit rock city” sigh…I can let you know in good faith that it was never gonna be “Calgary rock city”

Something like nothing that ever came before…………………………
SF4L
Michele